Letters to a Married Man
by Siriusly Lovely
Summary: Remus Lupin and Hermione Granger run into each other one day after the Fall of the Dark Lord and they start exchanging letters. Post DH. Mostly Canon.


Dear Professor Lupin,

It was so nice running in to you in Diagon Alley before I returned to school. It's been far too long since I've seen anyone in the Order. I suppose since there isn't much of a threat anymore there's less reason for us all to gather together. I do wish that I hadn't had to run off, I would really love to have sat down and caught up with you over a cup of coffee or something. Was that woman with you your new wife I've heard so much about? I'm dreadfully sorry I couldn't come to the wedding but would you believe it, that was the weekend my parents decided to renew their vows. Ron told me all about the ceremony though and I'm so happy that Harry and he were able to attend, two out of three isn't that bad is it? I was glad to receive the thank you note for my wedding present, those sun and moon salt shakers seemed very appropriate considering that, forgive me if I'm mistaken, your new wife is part Veela. How is Teddy? Harry tells me he's shooting up. How old is he now, almost five? Harry showed me a picture and the little tyke kept falling all over himself. He seems just as clumsy as Tonks was and he has your eyes. Listen to me, babbling on like a blubbering lunatic. I'll let you digest now. I'd love if we could stay in touch.

Sincerely, Hermione Granger

Dear Hermione,

Why do you insist on formalities? I think we've been through enough together for you to call me by my first name. I don't call you Ms. Granger anymore now do I? It was good seeing you. Ron, of course, couldn't stop talking about you at the wedding and from what I gather you two are still going strong as you were after the Fall. It would have been nice to have time to catch up but unfortunately I was also in a rush, on my way home for dinner. The life of a married man is tough, I had forgotten. Your wife always expects you home for dinner. You're correct in your assumption, Jacqueline is indeed part Veela. I met her when I was over at Bill and Fleur's cottage for a get together a few years ago. Things just went from there. She's a lovely woman, of course the loss of Tonks still lingers with me but at least I have Teddy. I never really thought he had my eyes, I like to think he's mostly his mothers son but thanks for the thought. He's still deciding what he wants to have this neutral appearance be so every day he has a different face and different hair but you can always see Tonks in that. He is indeed just as clumsy as she was. It was so nice hearing from you, maybe sometime soon we can actually sit down together. Perhaps you'd like to join us for dinner some night soon? You could bring Ron if you'd like.

Sincerely Remus Lupin

Dear Remus,

I'm sorry I behave so formally, it's just my nature. I'm four years out of Hogwarts and still I'm in the mindset of a student. I blame it on the fact that I've been studying with the Healers at Saint Mungo's since I left school. Ron and I are indeed still an item, we have a flat in Muggle London so that I'm close to work and he's close to the Ministry as he and Harry are still studying planning to be Aurors. Between you and me I'm not exactly sure Ron's cut out for that line of work but only time will tell. Ron keeps dropping hints about getting engaged but I'm not exactly sure that's what I want right now. Yes, I love him but spending the rest of your life together? How can you really be sure whether it will last? I'm sorry, I don't want to burden you with my problems, sometimes I simply get started and have trouble stopping. We would simply love to come to dinner some night, just give us a time and a place and we'll be there.

Sincerely, Hermione Granger

Dear Hermione,

I understand the pressure you must be feeling in your relationship with Ron if he's headed in one direction and you're still deciding. You probably didn't know this but before Tonks and I got married we went through much the same thing. I thought I was too old and Tonks thought I was being a stick in the mud. Sometimes you just need to listen to your heart and do what it's telling you, even if what you hear isn't the easiest thing. I'm so happy you're going to accept my invitation. I spoke to Jacqueline about you and Ron coming to dinner and she's simply thrilled. As you said, there isn't much reason for members of the Order to convene anymore and so that is a part of my life she hasn't exactly been introduced to yet. As I'm sure Harry told you, he was kind enough to let us live in Sirius' old residence, which you remember as the new headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. Don't worry, we finally relocated Mrs. Black's portrait to the basement (There is a spell on it that keeps it from being removed from the house) and so you can hardly hear her wailing anymore. We'll be expecting you on the 24th of the month for dinner. We usually sit down to eat at about seven at night. I'm looking forward to seeing the both of you.

Sincerely, Remus Lupin

Remus,

I can't tell you how sorry I am for Ron's behavior at dinner yesterday night. I had told you that he had been dancing around the subject of getting engaged but had I any idea he was going to propose last night I would have postponed our get together. I can't apologize enough for the scene we caused in front of your son and your wife- what she must think of us! I'm so embarrassed about my behavior but you really must understand that he caught me off guard. I'm also sorry for storming out like that but I wanted to leave before things got really bad. Ronald is staying at Harry's for a little bit, until we figure out where we want to go from here. I don't know what I'm going to do. But don't let me trouble you with my problems. I'd like to thank you for your hospitality. I was really enjoying myself and my chat with Jacqueline before Ronald started Causing trouble. Teddy is even cuter in person than his picture, and so polite! What manners you must be teaching that boy, I swear he offered to take my coat a dozen times. If I haven't scared you off with my boyfriend's antics I'd really like to try to get together again, but just me this time. That should be safe.

Hermione

Hermione,

There is really no need to apologize; I understand completely what both of you are going through. Ron is young and in love and wants to spend the rest of his life with you and he wants the rest of your life to start immediately. You on the other hand are more inclined to enjoy the good thing you have going right now and worry about the future in the future. My personal inclination is to say that after experiencing the loss of Tonks during the Battle I would urge you to take risks, to do what you want with life immediately because you never know when it will end. Jacqueline was a bit confused about why you two suddenly got so angry, I don't think she really wanted to get too involved. I regret to say we almost isolate ourselves from the rest of the word. I know she'll never come out and say it but I think she might be ashamed of being married to a werewolf, at least that's the reason we have for not trying to have children. Teddy's enough for her is what she says. I would love to get together with you again. I think we should give my wife some time to recover from dinner though. Perhaps we could meet at the Leaky Cauldron or maybe Hogsmeade if you're so inclined for some nostalgia. Just tell me the place and time and I'll be there.

Remus

Remus,

I'm thrilled that you want to accept my proposal. Forgive me for not expanding on too much in today's letter, Ron and I have begun discussing our future. I'll explain more when we meet. Would this Friday be alright with you? If so no need to owl back just meet me at the Hogs Head in Hogsmeade at 5 o' clock.

Hermione

Hermione,

How are things going with Ron moving out? Is he still giving you trouble? I'm sorry you haven't heard from me in a few days but Teddy has been acting up and Jacqueline is not thrilled about it. I keep trying to explain to her that he's just a boy but she doesn't seem to understand that that means he's allowed to act childish sometimes. I swear, that woman knows nothing of the outside world. She even went so far as to tell me that maybe it was my werewolf genes showing up in him. I'm still not sure how to feel about it. Anyways, I really enjoyed our chat last week. I mean, it wasn't very happy, was it, what with you and Ron splitting up and what not but I did enjoy spending time with you. Now that we're not in a situation where one of us is in charge and the other is of a lower position I'm glad that we can be friends. Hopefully we can do it again soon? Maybe two weeks from now? I would say next week but it's the full moon and you know how that goes. Jacqueline is not going to be happy I'll tell you that right now.

Yours, Remus

Remus,

That's horrible that Jacqueline said something like that to you, and I thought she was so considerate of that. At least that's what it seemed when I was there. I enjoyed seeing you as well. You're quite funny and the stress that's been lifted off you since the War ended has done wonders for your appearance. I'm sorry, that wasn't appropriate to say. But you really are looking a lot better these days, I'm sure you know that. Teddy is probably just going through what all little boys at that age go through, you know that. If you ever need someone to watch after him when it gets too much for you or Jacqueline just ring me up, I'd be more than happy to if I'm able. Oh, Ron is still being testy, saying that it doesn't need to be like this and all that rubbish.. But I've made up my mind and I can't live like this anymore. I know if he stays in the flat with me we'll fight all the time and he'll try to make me feel guilty about not wanting to marry him. At least this way maybe we can stay friends and maybe try to make it work again someday. You know I never guessed that you and I would have this kind of friendship. I must say Remus, you have helped me through this the most. I can't talk to Harry about it because he's Ron's best friend and while I know he cares for me he's a bit biased on the matter. My parents, of course, never approved of us living together to being with so it's no surprise they're simply ecstatic that he's moving out. I'd just like to say Thank you, thank you for listening to me babble on for the last few weeks about my mundane drama. I'd love to get together after the full moon. Owl me next week and let me know how everything went and when and where you'd like to get together next time.

Hermione

Hermione,

Transformation this month went very poorly. It was very painful and I was very violent during it. Of course I didn't hurt anyone, I have them lock the door to the basement while I'm down there and I can't very well use my wand to get out while I'm in werewolf form. Jacqueline was very frightened though. When I finally came out I found Teddy at the kitchen table drinking a cup of Hot Chocolate. When I asked him where Jacqueline was he said she'd left. She left a note on the counter saying it was all too much for her (I can only assume that means my Flaw, Teddy, being isolated from the world), and that she had gone back to her parents for a bit. Maybe she'll be back in a few weeks, maybe not. I'm not doing very well at the moment. I dropped off Teddy with Tonk's mother yesterday. I just need some time to myself I think. I'd still like to see you this week, of course. You're right; we do have a wonderful friendship, unlike any I thought I'd ever have with a former student. I find you extremely easy to talk to, more so even than my wife. Is that wrong to say? Anyways, if I haven't made you feel too uncomfortable I'd really love if you'd join me here for dinner on Friday night. We can reminisce and talk and drink and it will be a grand evening, I promise. No need to owl back, just come if it suits you.

Hurting, Remus

Remus,

I'm not really sure what to say. I thought about writing you so many times over the past two weeks. I'm not really sure why we did the things we did when I came for dinner two Fridays ago. Maybe it was the Firewhiskey we were drinking, or the fact that we were talking about such intimate details of our life, or the fact that no one was there to distract us. Maybe it was because neither of us has gotten laid in a very long time. Maybe…maybe I knew that was going to happen if I came to call the moment I read your letter. Perhaps I should have been the sane one and not accepted your dinner invitation when. I knew that you were in a fragile and confused state and knowing that I too am n a fragile and confused state. But it shouldn't have fallen on me to be the smart one. You have a wife, you bloody git, and I…I have nothing. I came into your home and I tainted it, I tainted your marriage. I took advantage of you. What do I do with those feelings? I know it was wrong, I know I shouldn't have kissed you when your eyes were reflecting the fire light like they were. I know I shouldn't have let myself give into the temptation to wrap you in my arms and feel close to another person for the first time in a long time. But I also know that when I was with you, when we were kissing and touching and…when we made love in your home, in the house you share with your wife and son…I felt more alive, more connected, more right than I have in a very long time. How can something that I know in my heart to be so wrong, so dangerous – how can that single thing make the most sense to me than anything has in my entire life? I'm very confused, Remus. I need to talk to you.

Puzzled, Hermione

My Dearest Hermione,

I fear that I've done you a terrible wrong. I have committed that wrong not in kissing you and making love to you as you say, but by not contacting you in the time that followed and for that I am indebted to you. Like you I'm not really certain how the things that came to pass happened but I do not regret them and I hope that you don't either. I think I must have known that this was a possibility when I asked you to dinner. I was lonely and confused and you're a beautiful woman and I care about you. You're wrong about something though, you beautiful, genius of a woman. You're wrong about having nothing. You have everything. You have your youth and your freedom and a family who loves you and a future. You can do whatever you put your mind to and I would do anything to have that. I, my dear, am trapped in a marriage with a woman who I'm not even sure that I love. Honestly? (I think we can be honest with each other after recent events we have lived through together) I think I may have rushed into things with Jacqueline. After Tonks was killed in the Battle I was so alone and frightened. Here I was thinking we would have the rest of our lives to raise our son together and all of the sudden I was a widower, single father to a boy who is the spitting image of my late wife. What kind of father is a werewolf? I'll tell you what kind of father a werewolf is, not a good one. I panicked. When I met Jacqueline it seemed like fate. Here was this beautiful young girl who seemed crazy about me and my son and was eager to get married but shared the same fear about my children being werewolves as I harbor. It was perfect. But now, looking back on it I'm not so sure, and not only because I've now dragged you into our messy situation. Being with you was probably the first thing I've done for myself since before Tonks was killed. Can you keep a secret? Since the moment I bumped into you in Diagon Alley I've been thinking about you. I've been tempted to kiss you every time I saw you; even sitting across from you at my own table for dinner with Ron and my wife and son was difficult when all I wanted to do was hold you and explore you and get to know you better. I'm not sure what I'm feeling Hermione but, like you, it's more than I've felt in a very long time. I agree that we need to talk. I won't ask you to come by the house again as I'm sure that would make you feel very anxious and uncomfortable. Meet me tomorrow in Hogsmeade at 6 o' clock in the evening at The Three Broomsticks? No need to owl back, I'll wait for you all night and if you don't come I'll know you want nothing to do with this.

Hopeful, Remus

Remus,

Alright, I'll admit it; As guilty as I feel about sneaking around behind your wife's back, I really enjoyed seeing you yesterday. Honestly, I tried as hard as I could to contain myself but I'm sure you were going through the same thing, what with conflicting feelings and such. I look forward to seeing you again next week? Same time and place?

Hermione

Hermione,

I'm sorry I wasn't there today to meet you at The Three Broomsticks. I miss you. I want to see you. But Jacqueline and Teddy returned home today and I really couldn't get away. I'm sorry. Let me make it up to you. I'll see you for dinner tomorrow at the Hogs Head.

Impatient, Remus

Remus,

For your sake I hope you weren't trying to hide us from anyone last night because I'm entirely certain that Aberforth knew that there was more to that dinner than just dinner if you catch my drift. None the less, I thoroughly enjoyed myself. Think of it this way, you finally got to see my flat. I had a dream about you last night. I woke up thinking you were next to me in bed but you weren't and that hurt a bit more than I expected. I know I won't be able to see you for a bit because of Jacqueline but please continue to write if possible.

Waiting, Hermione

Hermione,

Jacqueline, as always, is being a witch (no pun intended). She wasted no time letting me know that it was entirely my fault that she left and that she still isn't certain that she can do this. I told her that if she didn't know if she could be married to me she probably should have thought about that when we first started talking a bout getting married. She's currently not speaking to me which is why I had a few moments to write to you. I miss you, Hermione.

Lonely, Remus

Remus,

I passed my Healer examination.! That means that I'm going to be able to start work at Saint Mungo's very soon. I'm extremely excited and pleased about this development. In other news, Ron came by the other day. While I was up making tea for us he caught sight of one of your letters. Being Ron, he read it and promptly started an argument. Needless to say he stormed out. I wouldn't be surprised if you get a visit from Harry sometime soon in regards to us. I'm very sorry. I miss you. I don't like not being able to see you, hopefully we'll be able to amend that soon.

Sorry, Hermione

Hermione,

Harry stopped by. He's pretty bothered by it. I don't really know what to do. I'm sorry; I don't have much to say right now.

Remus

Remus,

I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I'll talk to Harry, I'm not sure what good it will do though.

Hermione

Hermione,

Jacqueline wants you to come for dinner. Tomorrow at eight.

Remus,

I don't think I can do this anymore. It was all well and good when Jacqueline hadn't gotten home from her job at the Ministry yet and it was just you I and Teddy. I'll be truthful with you and say that I did let my mind wander for a moment to what it would be like if it were just the three of us. It was nice. But when she got home and you kissed her and when she was holding your hand during dinner…I just don't think I can carry on this charade. I hope you're happy with her.

Sincerely, Hermione Granger

Hermione,

I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know how to act. I loved being alone with you and Teddy, it felt like we were a family and like we had nothing to worry about. I can't erase Jacqueline. I can't take back marrying her, life doesn't work that way. Please, Hermione, don't do this to me. I can't lose you, you're the one thing in my life keeping me sane. Without you I think I might go crazy. This week is the full moon but after that I want to see you, I want to hold you. I want to be with you. Please.

Love, Remus

Remus,

I'm not going to do this with you. I'm not going to break apart your family over this. Please don't write me anymore.

Sincerely, Hermione Granger

Hermione,

Please, I miss you. Please, can we just start over. I'm leaving her, Hermione. I'm leaving her and I want us to be able to be together. I love you, Hermione. Please believe me when I say that we can start over.

Love, Remus

Remus,

I"ll meet you at the Hogs Head at seven o'clock tomorrow night and we can talk about this. I'm not making any promises. You had better be serious about leaving her.

Hermione

Hermione,

Thank you for dinner last night. I really enjoyed it. I'm glad you're willing to try and make this work. Just think, in a few days time you'll be living here with me and Teddy and we won't have to wait for each other's letters anymore. I'll be honest; there have been days when I have simply waited near the window and waited for the owl to appear so I could read your letters. Teddy's so excited that you're coming to stay with us. I hope everything went alright with you talking to Ron.

Love, Remus

Remus,

It's crazy isn't it? A few years ago you were teaching me at school and now we're going to be living together. I'll tell you, I'm excited too. You should already know that the chat with Ronald went horribly. He's very angry that I've moved on, especially to you. I think he feels betrayed. Somewhere deep down he must have thought we would have gotten back together. I told him I'll pay him for the time I lived in the flat after he moved out but he's not having any of that. They'll just have to adjust. you too. I'll see you tomorrow so we can move my things over to your house.

Love, Hermione

Hermione,

I love you.

Remus

Remus,

It's the middle of the night and I'm lying right next to you. Go to bed.

Hermione

P.s. I love you too.


End file.
